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Archive for November, 2011

We all want to be sick, miserable slaves so that we may be exploited and ultimately disposed of in whatever way our masters deem most profitable. Especially in these economically and politically uncertain times, is it so important not to live our lives in an unorthodox way which might rock the boat. But while shopping for your next bag of potato slop you might accidentally stumble on a tomato. While looking for the latest Lady Gaga video, you might inadvertantly click on a video about rape statistics in Oslo. The dangers of health, reality and common sense are everywhere. In the interests of maintaining a servile populace, we offer the following tips for UNhealth and UNhappiness.

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1. Live a sedentary life

Let’s face it. Exercise is good for you. It keeps your body strong and healthy and also serves to release stress and tension. An additional problem is that it will help you to remain more relaxed throughout the day and will make it easier to get a good nights sleep. It will help your body to process and burn off whatever food you have eaten. You don’t want that stuff to be burned off, you want to store it as fat so that you can gain more and more weight and become increasingly disgusting and unattractive.

What you should do : Firstly, get a job where you sit for a really long time. This takes care of a huge portion of your life. If you had a job where you had to move, (i.e. carpenter, construction worker, housewife) it would be almost impossible to become more than just a little obese – if at all. You would be moving so much that healthy exercise would actually become a part of your life. Yikes!

Now of course, most of you are happy little cogs in the corporate machine and won’t have that problem. But some of you may be dumb enough to go and join a gym. Don’t worry. Joining a gym is not as bad as you might think. Firstly, you are not necessarily getting complete exercise. If you are lifting weights or using the stairmaster than you are doing repetitive actions which are only a simulation of the kind of activity which once made gyms unthinkable. (And in some cases these actions are very bad for your joints (weight lifting is a great example). These actions are naturally very boring for most people and most of you will quickly tire of them – causing you to become unhappy and eventually give up your gym membership altogether, which will eliminate exercise entirely.

The best option is simply to not go to a gym at all. This will leave you more time to work and produce a profit for whatever faceless corporation you work for. And if you must go to a gym, remember that you are not only spending money, but you are spending TIME which could have been used to physically work on something which would improve your health, independence and quality of life – such as growing and maintaining a garden.

2. Get in debt … and stay in debt!

This is really a wonder drug! Debt has several positive effects. Firstly, being in debt is stressful. Having that financial obligation over your head helps to keep you unhappy and tie you to the job which you need in order to pay the debt. This will make you unhappy because you either hate your job or simply don’t like it very much (even if you only mildly dislike you job that feeling will grow with time). Debt increases whatever pressures your marriage is under, which hopefully leads to divorce. And the very best thing about debt is that you can always get more. It can become a never-ending enslavement which is fed by your own materialism and irresponsibility. So debt helps in that way too. It ENCOURAGES materialism and stupidity! You can base your life around material comforts and expensive products rather than genuine experiences and fulfilling realtionships.

What you should do : First, buy a house which is way to big for you and requires decades of toil to pay off. Second, get as many credit cards as you can and go to town! If you ever find yourself hesitating at the department store, just remind yourself that you deserve things you haven’t worked for. This is an added bonus because this sense of entitlement, mixed with vapid materialism is the root of many problems which will help to create a generally sick, fucked up society that produces toxic social and cultural consequences the individual will find very difficult to escape.

3. Eat crap

Hopefully you’re working a job which demands much of your time. This gets rid of the time you would have spent making real food. Cooking is also bad because is involves all sorts of varied actions, some of them moderately strenuous, which would add to the every day ‘default’ exercise you would be getting.

What you should do : Buy ‘ready made’ meals, or just eat stuff which is not even in the form of a meal, such as potato chips. Check the labels for weird unpronounceable chemicals which would never be used if you were cooking from scratch with raw ingrediants. Also, look for items with ingredients that you would never think to to put in such a product. Like sugar in strawberry yogurt. One would assume that the ingrediants for strawberry yogurt would be strawberries, and jogurt. Not so. Buy that sugar-laced swill and lap it up.

Another rule of thumb is ‘redefine what food is’. Allow basic staples of your diet to be fake, artifically composed ‘substances’. You should buy ‘orange juice’ which proudly exclaims that it contains a minimum of 30% REAL juice. Did you get that? It’s called ‘ORANGE JUICE’ and it then states that 30% of it is juice. By unthinkingly accepting  this kind of unmasked fraud it will not only help to damage you health, but it will make it easier for you to accept other analogous frauds in the general society. Such as :

– Welcome to England! 70% English!

– America! Land of the free! You can be imprisoned without trial as per ‘The Patriot Act’!

– America is a prosperous nation! Everyone, (including the government) is in debt!

– We believe in racial tolerance and harmony! That’s why were are going to blame one single race for all of the worlds problems, demand its destruction through mass non-white immigration, and call anyone who disagrees a nazi!

And so on …

4. Treat all physical and mental illnesses with drugs

This is a tricky one. It is true that you need drugs for certain medical conditions, and if we did not have these drugs many people would die or suffer greatly. But don’t let that fool you into thinking that drugs should only be used for acute conditions or conditions which have no other remedy. There are all sorts of physical and mental problems which can be temporarily fixed with drugs. Another plus is that these drugs may have dangerous or simply unhealthy side-effects.

What you should do : First, treat everything you can with drugs – that’s obvious. But there’s more. Not being capable of THINKING and making rational decisions is the purpose of all that public education and media propaganda you have been exposed to. Use that slave-like mentality here. Don’t actually THINK about what the cause of your ailment is. Just treat the symptoms. If you can’t sleep, don’t consider the possibility it is related to work or whatever. If you do that you might fix those problems and that could have a myriad of healthy, life-extending consequences. Just pop a pill and hit the sack. This kind of band-aid solution is exzactly the sort of problem solving we need in other areas of society, such as crime, poverty, economics, etc. As mentioned above, with this kind of behaviour we act in a way which is consistant with how the larger society fuctions. We become little microcosoms of the meta problem which is the materialistic, indebted, conflict-ridden, quagmire society we live in.

5. Be sexually promiscuous

Look up the precentage of people who are infected with STDs (curable and incurable). These diseases are not the equivalent of you genitals getting a cold. They have real consequences. Some of them will pretty much kill you. And remember, one may not have such a big effect but contracted habitually they become an excellent way to compromise your immune system and damage your overall health. In addition, the best way to get these diseases is by having promiscuious sex which, however fun, is ultimately void of any of the deeper feelings of connectedness and love which human relationships can be based on. Instead, you associations with the opposite sex will, at worst be short-term and end in heart break over and over again, wearing you down emotionally and making you bitter and cynical. And at best, will not even have the veneer of love and commitment which provides people with a long-term, sustainable feeling of belonging and being loved.

What you should do : key words here, ‘selfishness’ and ‘hedonism’. Philosophers have been saying for ages that caring about something other than your own petty life and furnishing it with the basest of physical pleasures will lead to unfulfillment and misery. They have also harped endlessly on the concept that self-control and moral dicipline are fundamental to living a healthy and good life. So disregard the advice they have developed after lifetimes of study and careful meditation. Instead, follow the advice of the degenerate, half-baked ‘intellectuals’ who have polluted the modern world with their ideology of ‘if it feels good, do it’. They haven’t the intellect nor the piety of those old philosophers and thus are ideal examples to follow.

And again, by being promiscuos you act in-line with the larger world. Just as you have no boundaries and no standards in who you have sex with, so the larger world you live in will have no standards, no lines uncrossed, no dicipline whatsoever. You are reveling in the downward spiral! The micro and the macro are connected.

6. Do not get married

Marrige offers a stable social unit that one can build a life within. It provides guareenteed human connection and necessarily involves caring about someone other than yourself. Also, by getting married you will very likely produce children. Why is this bad? Because by producing children you make yourself a part of the cycle of life. Looking into the eyes of your newborn daughter and seeing her recognize you, seeing your son learn to ride his bike for the first time, observing your child doing basic things like tasteing ice cream or encountering a kitten for the first time will give you a larger prespective on existance. There are all sorts of dangerous implications to having chuldren. Not the leaste of which is that by making them your responsibility and enjoying being a part of their lives, you will want to live longer so that you may best provide for them and see them grow up into happy adults who have children of their own. Avoiding this life-cancer is one of the best things you can do to ensure an unhealthy and spritually unfulled life.

Another consequence is that, by having kids, you replace yourself with a viable citizen and worker. If you do not have kids at all, the foul alliance of governement and corporations can easily move third world populations into your once-pristine, White country and turn it into a demographic landfill of poverty, hatred and filth inhabited by ugly people who look nothing like you or your spouse.

What you should do : Following rule #5 should do the trick.

7. Do not spend time with your family

If your stupid enough to have a family, don’t worry. There is still something you can do. Don’t spend very much time with them. Neglect all of them and justify it to yourself by saying things like ‘I love my job’. A family can actually be a great source of UN-happiness. That’s right, by neglecting your family you will become alienated from them (and them you) and this will lead to a truly wounderful thing : Divorce. Divorce is a great form of economic loss and emotional damage. It will not only make you unhappy, but your children will forever live with it. Remember all those lyrics of anguish and pain that Kurt Cobain produced in the music of Nirvana? Much of that stemmed from the pain and damage of his parents divorce. By getting divorced you too can bestow that uniquely modern form of misery on your kids!

What you should do : Three words. Work, work and work! Someone’s gotta pay for the bailout, the Iraq war, Israel and minority crime. Put your shoulder to the wheel and ‘git er done’, cause it’s never gonna end!

8. Don’t get enough sleep

Debt and being a tax slave help you to work far more than you should. Also, since the concept of ‘retirement’ is changing because of the Credit Crisis, you can not only work for longer in the day, but longer in your life. Working long hours has been proven to force you to get less sleep, which in turn will make you less healthy and have a serious effect on your lifespan.

What you should do : Get a stupid job and tell yourself ‘it’s who I am’.

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These are just a handful of ideas for making yourself unhealthy and unhappy. If there was one general guiding rule you could follow it would be this : Don’t actually THINK about anything. By using your brain and applying reason and logic to any situation, whether it be your diet, work, or your countries immigration policy, you will eventually arrive at a conclusion which will make sense and threaten our alien/traitor elite as well as the destructive trends they have put in place. Luckily entertainment and misinformation are spewed daily from the idiot box known as TV so keep that cable subscription going and you’ll stay firmly on the right path.

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